Not all writers start wars. Some gather shards of peace,piece them together with gold-coloured glue,serenade giantsso that the world doesn’t end too soon. Some are prophetsto keep brooding philosophers companyand conspiracy theorists from feelingthey’ve gone certifiable.They also describe our individual … Continue reading
How does one writeabout good things, good times, good people? Do you set the good upon a pedestal and shine a bright,exaggerating light on themso that some poetry can finallydiffuse from all that brilliance? Do you invent themif only everything … Continue reading
It’s 0054 hours and the words are still a viscous cluster in the heart. They refuse to be ushered out, binding themselves together in chains and hooked arms. Doubt casts a sinister fog over a mind torn to bits by endeavour: trying, eager, repetitive… Talentless? Choiceless. Artify or wither in the recesses of consciousness. 0200 hours. Mute. Feet cold stiff in the sheets, twitching nervously in Morse code, “Not good enough.”
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Copyright ©️ 2020 Tebogo Ndlovu
2020 has been a horrendous year for various reasons, some of which I’ve been encountering over the last two weeks or so. The most common problem we may have experienced this year is the outbreak and consequences of the COVID19 pandemic. It’s possible we all know people who lost their lives due to the virus. It’s been a devastating year for some also because of job losses, being on lockdown with an abusive person, succumbing to depression and other mental health issues as a result of isolation, dealing with disturbed plans, delayed academic progress. The list goes on. So yes, this has been a challenging year.
However, I think it’s fair to say some of us have salvaged something from this year. Others have not fared so badly thus far. We still have our sources of income. Despite many opportunities to catch something, we still haven’t caught the virus (as far as we know?). We restarted projects we previously claimed not to have time for. We realised what or who we can’t do without and mended relationships before it was too late. Some introverts managed to have life their way for a while, lol, and got to enjoy the peace that came with lockdown restrictions. Some got to know their children better.
I like to think that out of every survived crisis is a silver lining – like surviving a war having discovered a secret version of yourself in the middle of the upheaval and being able to witness all the development and social change that at times comes afterwards. Because what is life without optimism, especially at times like this? One of my silver linings was restarting this blog and finally figuring my way out of a long, long spell of writer’s block. It’s amazing what idle time can do if you can afford any. I’m even more grateful that anyone came to read what I publish here. Several times, I’ve hesitated to click on ‘publish’ but I’d put myself in a corner so I had no choice. I had told myself I’d publish everyday until I felt I had become a writer -regardless of whether or not I had anything good to publish. Now I write constantly and have a few projects I’m actively working on -regardless of how busy the rest of my life gets. So, according to whoever said you’re only a writer if you’re writing, I think it’s safe to say I’ve happily, finally accepted the vocation. Took years but I’m happy it happened at all.
On that note, I’d like to thank you so much for visiting the village I’ve built here -with its stories and characters and whatever you may have picked up while passing through. I appreciate every second you’ve spent reading my posts, commenting, liking. I’ll be taking another tour around your blogs as I haven’t done it in a while and miss it. One of the last times I did it, Ivon got ‘The Sound of Silence’ (Pentatonix version) stuck in my head, Keith had a hilarious story out, I found out about Rosaliene’s ‘Under the Tamarind Tree’ -which I’m psyching myself to read; I think it’s one of those that will make me an angry, crying mess but in a good way- and Melody Chen blew me away with her imagery and flow. I cannot get over the way she writes.
I’m truly looking forward to reading your work. And please know that each and every one of you has made a major, unexpected difference in my life. Every action you’ve performed on this blog has helped me rebuild a vital part of myself I thought I had lost. The kindness or interest of strangers is invaluable. I hope you’ve gained something from visiting here.
Before this point, I was publishing to hold myself accountable so that I wouldn’t stop writing. Now my focus is shifting to reading more (Rosaliene, Paul and River, I’m getting to your books. So excited about that.), doing better research, and improving on the quality of my writing. I want to become better at writing and have had to rearrange my life accordingly as it’s so easy to fall into not getting time to read and write. The demands on our time can be numerous. So some changes had to be made.
Jai Lynn had some writing plans out and I thought it would be a good way to continue to hold myself accountable so my top 5 are:
- To complete the race series by 1 October, continuing to publish on weekends
- To complete my current writing projects by 1 November
- To post consistently (every day) until 15 October when I’ll evaluate and make whatever changes are necessary
- To embark on ‘The Historians’ which I’ll be carrying out here soon (it’s NOT about regurgitating historical facts -even though that can be fun to do, especially with history that’s not well-known)
- To change the blog name and update the blog in general.
Those are my major goals right now….That’s one of my 2020 silver linings: the year I started writing again and met you all. And yes, there’s a song for that.