To You,

I know I should be grieving, attending our union’s burial
– our life together half-dead, beaten to a pulp by iniquities gone wild
I know I should go and tell the Aunties of my anguish
And beg them to beg you to come correct.
But oh, the relief of the bitter truth!
I can only bring myself to wonder what adventures come after
A harrowing past masterfully punctuated by you.
I will always remember you for the children,
The blissful moments in between the chaos,
The intimacy on nights when you had to put me back together again,
The strength I found when you needed me and I was surely there.
But eras like ours are hardly ever forever.
The future is for the moving, after all.
Don’t mistake this for sadness.
We know how secretly ecstatic we both are.

Copyright ©️ 2020 Tebogo Ndlovu

Latest Vacancies

It is through turned backs that we learn to live without
Via the emptiness that follows goodbyes we waved to fond memories
The loneliness of spaces left when 50% of belongings are gone
The relief in the morning when there are 50% less arguments
with half the bed slept in
the whole of a child temporarily yours
your secrets only about you.
It is through turned backs that we learn that to live without
may not be the loss we think it will be
may be the windfall we’ve kept our fingers and toes crossed for
all along.
After all,
we are living
-without the tension,
without crushed eggshells under the soles of our feet
and around those we have transformed into gods
without expectations that maybe he’ll show up this time
without hopes that maybe she’ll notice this time.
With knowing that surely we are alone
and that is a good, far cry from together alone
from wives who are single mothers; world-weary, friendless husbands,
children sensing inexplicable voids.
We are living without.
We finally know what we have,
what we don’t have,
what we’d rather have,
what we’d rather build.
We are living without.
We are, at last, living.

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Copyright © 2020 Tebogo Ndlovu

PS: Apologies for the late post. I had some technical difficulties posting this yesterday but we’re good to go now.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Pick five red roses
Wrap them up in hope, add a dash of faith
Melodies of cherubim, combust!

Tap four times, doorknob laden with rust
Peek through three windows, a home desolate in dust
Make two calls, tongue tsks -disgust.

Congrats.
You’ve made yours now, the one that got away.
In one chance too many, we trust.

 

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Copyright © 2011 – 2020 Tebogo Ndlovu